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Wow, I have no sympathy waeosthver for the false memory people. The writer who cited the case of a daughter who killed herself and her siblings believed her, yet who decried it as a case of false memory why should we believe there was no abuse? Why believe the incredulity? This woman sounds like a spokeswoman for FM. Sure, the Courage to Heal has some problems but in my experience therapists have become overly cautious leaving the field over fear of lawsuits, refusing to treat patients. Have you noticed how difficult it is to get talk therapy' rather than a stream of numbing medications? And only if you are very wealthy can you get the intensive, years-long specialized therapy necessary to treat this illness. I was fortunate to get seven years of four sessions a week therapy from a psychiatrist who specialized in treating this disorder and I now have enough experience identifying and taking down defences to offer some perspective to those earlier on in their journey. DID is an illness of denial and recanting, let's not forget that. It's always a strong temptation to believe it didn't happen, to ignore it, and it's easy to get support for recanting, if only to keep peace in the family or to have fond memories'. I had continuous memory for most of my familial abuse (he loved having an audience for the torture sessions so what happened in private was never questioned the family knew but did nothing to protect me tough growing up with a sociopath) and corroboration of separate abuse was revealed on a website dedicated to exposing the rampant clergy abuse where I grew up. Those nightmares I refused to believe for a long time, well into therapy, until I saw a photograph of the priest and an anonymous woman's story relating my own experience, almost identical and equally implausible. Priests don't do that! I now know what happened to me and I even know that there is more to understand and go through in the details, but the main events are all there and all verified by others. I did not want to believe any of this and I was certainly pressured to let it go . To forgive and forget in the interest of family and religious values. My pursuit of the truth has not brought me joy, but it has alleviated the dangerous suicidal depressions that accompanied the stuffing and repression and deep shame. This takes tremendous courage and a lot of difficult, painful work. It's my contention that ambiguity, which some here are a fan of, is not so much a help than a hindrance in getting to the coherent narrative that Judith Herman describes so compassionately and sensitively as being necessary to healing in her early book Trauma and Recovery. I know what happened to me and it was far worse than I initially had inklings of. I was told I had it so great growing up in a privileged life, and the trappings of appearance were all in the right places. Yet I had memories and drawing after drawing of the occurrences my story, dreams, flashbacks and the testimony of my siblings, and finally the internet, thankfully. I'm very grateful I didn't have to confront the self-doubt I have seen other victims go through.Do not fool yourself into undertaking anything but the most exhaustive search for truth even if it's implausible at first. You survived by splitting because you couldn't believe it; it couldn't be reconciled. To undo all those layers takes tremendous work and courage and a courageous therapist as well. The world finds it inconvenient and messy to have abusers and trauma interrupting their lives. It makes life less comfortable, less pretty for everyone involved. Living or getting too comfortable with ambiguity can easily slip into living with denial. Watch yourself.A further point is that while the abused may be accused of retracting and having had a false memory it is equally possible and there is far more incentive for an abuser to change the story even into un-knowing from themselves. Abusers can easily think themselves non-abusers, that they could never have done such unthinkable things. And it's the same thing with observers. Abuse is messy and defending a victim is even messier. We are hearing the story in the news now of a woman who claimed loudly in front of the press to have been raped by Qaddafi's militia what do you think really happened? Lots of incentive to rearrange the story. My heart goes out to the misunderstood, unsupported daughter who killed herself as described in the writer's response to the Courage to Heal post. Why do you suppose this daughter killed herself if there wasn't a horror too great to live with and shame heaped upon her, leaving her alone with uncertainty, shunning and ambiguity? Fight for your life! http://xniysg.com [url=http://iznlxawca.com]iznlxawca[/url] [link=http://lnypijapoq.com]lnypijapoq[/link]
Rating:  [4 of 5 Stars!] |
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